In my quest in self-discovery and renewal of my life, I have decided to think about (and thank) all of the people in my life that have inspired and taught me how to make my life better for myself as well as for the people that I am surrounded by. Most of these people are from right here at Xanga. I read what they have to say and sometimes it really makes me stop and think (and many times smile). Whether they are family, friends, neighbors, co-workers or someone that I have been in contact with right here at Xanga, I hope that in my journey, somehow I will be able to help others who can relate to what I write about or quotes that I may post here.

One thing that I've known all along, but just have been too fearful of, is that in order to change my life for the better, I not only need to learn everything that I can about "what" I need to do I also need to "apply" those principles that I have learned. Change isn't easy and can be very uncomfortable, but in order to grow, it is a necessity for one's well-being.

-- I finish the jobs I start
-- Beginning tasks is easy for me
-- I see big tasks as a bunch of little, easy to do steps

This entry may change at any time during this little study on numerology. Or more accurately, the number and what it represents on this day. These changes depend upon my discoveries which I may find and whether or not I have the time to enter the information.

Is it pure coincidence that the same number shows up so readily, is it the cosmos, or something that I don't have the knowledge about? I would like to know some if not all of these answers.

Let your creative juices flow today, Diana. Perhaps you are a craft-oriented person who enjoys activities like woodworking, knitting, or sewing. Maybe you prefer more open-ended endeavors, such as painting or sculpture. Whatever the case, this 3-Day will serve you well by encouraging this kind of expression. You'll also notice a stronger creative flow, and perhaps you will produce your best work ever. Have fun, and when you're all finished, be sure to show your loved ones your creations. Let them enjoy your work as much as you do.

I'm going to do an experiment. A study, so-to-speak, on numerology. I don't mean to say that I'm going to do research on it. Although maybe I should, just for this study's purpose.

Earlier today, I read the above numerology report. I only focused on the creativity part of it. That is, painting, drawing, sculpting and, although it doesn't mention my passion, writing.

I don't understand what the numbers represent. Not exactly, anyway. But, I did note in my mind that it is a 3-day and that my life path number is a 6. Then I looked at the number of comments I have today on simplywriting. That's when I decided to do this little study. I wonder how this all works in my life and if other people take much notice of little things like the same number being repeated throughout the day in different ways.

I began studying a little more by looking at the number of posts I have on my private page. I only checked the first page and I counted 3 entries. December 8th, 9th and 11th are the three posts on my page. I had planned on posting a blog on the 10th, but, it started getting late and I didn't know exactly what I wanted to post. I had a few different ideas. Now, I'm thinking that if one or two of those posts would have been shorter, there would have been more than 3 entries posted. But, as it turned out, I didn't post on the 10th and what I posted were long enough to take up more room, therefore, they only left room for three posts.

I also went to the store earlier today at about 3:30 p.m. More threes. I bought three different snacks for myself. M&Ms/w peanuts, double chocolate-covered peanuts and peanut butter on cheese cracker. Yes, I love chocolate and peanuts. Especially before, during and after "that time of the month", which tells you exactly what it says. All the time. I just like chocolate more than ever during my period.

Oh and I don't want to forget to mention that on my most recent post, the time I posted it was 3:39 a.m. and I have a total of 9 comments on that post, which are all divisible by 3.

I wonder if I will notice anything else that has to do with the number 3 today.

This is my writing exercise for the day, also.
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UPDATE:

Yep, I'm already updating, because I went to simplywriting and found something that I forget to write down here.

I've have 3 new subscribers this week at simplywriting.

As of this week, I have a total of 36 subscribers at simplywriting.

I clicked on a newly updated site, just out of pure curiousity. While clicking and waiting for the page to load, I thought of a couple other screen names that would fit with the skin on my other site.

When the page was finished loading, I looked at the most recent post and the blogger had written, "Hey everyone!! I added some music to my site..."All By Myself"...

The screen names that I was thinking of were "All_Alone" and "AllByMyself".

No shit!

Geez! Are me and my daughter the only ones who thinks this is awesome?

Rough day with my daughter. She's still a mommie's girl. It makes it hard when she not only cries, but she sobs hard saying, "I'm going to miss you," ~Sigh~ I never had it this hard with my son.

She missed the school bus today, so, I made her take the city bus. Oh my gosh, that was so hard. Once she got to school she was fine. I called to make sure she got there o.k.

The secretary knows us well. It's always been like this. Even before kindergarten when she went to a daycare center. Miss R. said that my daughter looked very confident when she walked into the office. She was proud of herself for taking the city bus. It's a long ride and she has to transfer.

But, she also had a choice of two different buses. One would have taken her right away but she would have had to walk a few blocks. Another bus would have taken her right in front, but she would have had to wait a half hour to take it.

She chose to wait 30 minutes at the bus terminal. I made it her choice. I'm very proud of her.

I was so glad when she got home from school.

My son came over tonight.

"Mom, your son is sick, you have to take care of me."

He wanted me to go with him to the store for chicken soup. Now, what's a mom without chicken soup for a sick child?

We talked about what's been going on with each other. He's going to be promoted to shift manager January 1. Cool. I'm proud, but not surprised.

I told him about the meeting with a Xangan. I know he is secretly thinking that I need to get a life. Xanga is the only community I'm involved with. Pitiful, I know. He thinks I'm nuts. You got that right, son.

I think he's speaking Spanish as good as I do now, which is pretty damn good for someone who doesn't speak it much. Speaking of Spanish, I still want to talk to L. I told my son I would. She painted a picture of him playing his violin awhile ago. She's only 18 and boy is she good.

I'm tired. I know I'll be getting to sleep early tonight. I was up until about 4 in the morning drawing the mountains. Yeah, the mountains with the dove in it.

I had a dream that, as I was walking home from the store, a dog barked at me. But it wasn't the usual "bark because a stranger is coming" kind of bark. It sounded more like the dog was trying to sing to me. I started walking towards the dog when suddenly a squirrel came out of no where and started running up to me. It scared me so I started running. When I looked back it had stopped and was standing on it's hind feet. It looked like it was begging for food. Then I woke up.

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I had another dream in which I was a part of a television show. In my dream, Joyce Meyer said to look for the good in the world. She said the more good you look for, the more you will find and then the more good will start coming to you.

I tried to talk, but, she wouldn't let me. I wanted to say that the same thing happens if you look for the bad in the world. But, I think I was only supposed to listen.

After the service was over, a few that had attended gathered around and listened to her talk some more about this. And then she asked those with a bible to turn to Psalm 23. I believe this was the same version she used. Mrs. Meyer began reading and I followed along with someone who stood beside me. I didn't know the person, but, I guess they noticed that I didn't have a bible.

When I woke up, Mrs. Meyer was talking about Psalm 23. She asked the people if there was anyone who had a terrible relationship with their father. I would have been one of the people to raise my hand. (Thinking about our last conversation before he died). Of course she raised her hand. I have her testimony on tape. I haven't listened to it for a long time. I'm sure if I do, I'll cry.

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My daughter and I cried together last night about John Ritter. They showed the episode where he died. I missed the very beginning, but, it sounded like he was in a car accident on the show. I don't think she would have been so upset about his death if it weren't for me. When I first told her about his death, she didn't react at all. When she hears of a death of someone she knows or knows of, Adriana will normally cry immediately.

The day I told her I was crying a lot. It didn't hit her until one of the new shows that had been taped before he died came on. Now she's like me. She starts to cry whenever they mention him on t.v. I wasn't going to watch the show last night. I left the room and cried my eyes out. I just let myself cry. When I was finished, I went back into the room and watched the show with my daughter. She had been crying a little bit. She cried more once I got in the room. I cradled her and let us cry together.

Once the show was over, we got up, hugged each other and she said, "He was a good man, wasn't he?"

What else could I do, but, agree?

I'm tired of trying to analyze the reasons for being in so much pain over his death. I'm just going to accept these emotions. If I start crying about him again, I won't try to stop myself and ask why I'm crying. I'll just let it out.